just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
