sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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