thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
