All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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