he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
