Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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