Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
