id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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