What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
