I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The power of my boobs compel you
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
