Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize