i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
