Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My dick has a subreddit
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
