I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
