she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
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Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
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No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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