i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
