Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
