Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize