I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
