My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
