You made me cry and you don't even care
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
