I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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