But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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