It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
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We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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