Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Randomize
