u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
