Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You need Xanax blowdarts
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize