I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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