Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
