did you get engaged???
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
