What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Do vagina's smell?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
