i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
