You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize