Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
