you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
