So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
our cab driver is having phone sex.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
