You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
