Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
