so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
