it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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