the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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