I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
