He is such a slut. More and more my type.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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