i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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