Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
