Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
