But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
