Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Girls should come with a carfax report
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize