u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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