I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize