um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
