i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
