come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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