my mouth tastes like poor choices
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
