Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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