I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
