none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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