I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
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Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
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My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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