I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
